lol You think I am bad check out what your supervisors says about you!
For everyone who has ever had or given an evaluation - just
remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken
from [US] Federal Government employee performance evaluations.
1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom
and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more
of a definite won’t be.”
4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like
a rat in a trap.”
5. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet.”
6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.”
8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the
better.”
10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
it all together.”
11. “A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus.”
12. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
13. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
14. “He would argue with a signpost.”
15. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
16. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
17. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s
the other one.”
18. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
19. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
20. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
21. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t
coming.”
22. “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is
out looking for it.”
23. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a
week.”
24. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
25. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
26. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
27. “One neuron short of a synapse.”
28. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
29. “Takes him 2 hours to watch ‘60-minutes’.”
30. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. 
